Why signing a pre-nup that you will NEVER GAIN WEIGHT IN YOUR MARRIAGE is a bad idea

Apparently the latest craze in pre nuptial agreements are these new weight clauses potential spouses are signing prior to taking the marital plunge. Here are just a few of these interesting pre-nup requests:

  • No piano playing while the husband is home
  • Wife can’t wear anything green
  • Husband gets $100,000 if wife weighs over 170 pounds
  • Wife not allowed to cut her hair
  • If husband cheats, he must pay the wife a ‘bonus’ of up to $5 million

Listen– no one wants to go into a marriage with the idea that five years down the road the person they married will have undergone some kind of drastic transformation that will have them feeling less than excited about their partner and itching to wrangle out of their marriage contract. But putting these strict guidelines into place, in my opinion, is simply setting oneself up- and one’s marriage- to fail.

Case in point- when I got married I tipped the scales at 95 pounds and if you came too close to me I might have taken a bite out of your neck because I was HUNGRY and yeah kind of angry. I was too skinny- and  over the course of my 16 year marriage, two pregnancies, my fair share of disappointments and the death of my beloved dad- my weight like my emotional state has ebbed and flowed. And for that matter so much of who I am as a person has also changed and expanded in ways I can’t properly articulate or could have envisioned and therefore signed a contract that would prevent me from ever changing is one I CLEARLY would have broken.

The point is life is messy, unpredictable and one of the challenges of staying in a marriage- is your  ability as a COUPLE and as individuals  to navigate all those unexpected situations that arise. Those moments are the ones that will define your relationship and its strength and will test whether your love and commitment can withstand and yes even transcend the mundane, the extra weight that may appear and then be lost and the careers you may have held in high regard that all of a sudden no longer define you. If you can get through these things with your relationship still intact– it will be these triumphs that will make your marriage solid and keep your attraction for one another STEAMY.

Still I know there are so many people who would play devil’s advocate and say– hey if I married a person who was 120 pounds- and she gained 40 pounds well she is NO LONGER the same person I married. And I get it- and as a woman I think that is fair but extremely superficial. But I thought I’d get my sugardaddy’s perspective on all of this- being that men are notoriously visual creatures and are likely the ones asking for these clues in their pre-nup agreements- far more than the women are- what his take on these NEVER GAIN WEIGHT IN YOUR MARRIAGE pre-nups?

Me: So honey would you have asked me not to gain 20 pounds which by the way I did ( and then some) over the course of our marriage??

The sugar daddy: It didn’t matter, you have to be happy with yourself. If you were happy with yourself, I’m happy with you. The person you were inside never changed, even with the weight gain.

Me: Really, you didn’t feel like I had changed from the girl you married being overweight and that you were sold a false bill of goods?

The sugar daddy: you were still beautiful to me. Of course now that you have lost that weight I think YOU are happier with yourself. But whether you were 95 or 140 pounds your essence was still the woman I loved.

Me: So what would you say to a groom who is asking his soon to be wife to sign this kind of agreement?

The sugardaddy: Maybe he doesn’t know his wife that well, maybe he’s not sure about getting married to begin with, and this weight clause is just an excuse for his cold feet. What is this guy going to do when his wife gets pregnant. It’s going to take her a while to lose the weight- so he better be happy with her on the inside because the outside is not always going to be perfect.

GOOD POINTS SUGARDADDY… I knew there was a reason I married this man…

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