I love my husband, deeply, madly, passionately- and then there are those moments when the very things that attracted me to him– his quiet disposition(which when we first met I took as introspective) now after 13 years strikes me more as being zoned out and disinterested.
But I digress, why is it that the qualities that most attracted us to our spouses/ partners are the very same ones that make us want to light our significant other’s head on fire and run from the room screaming at times?!
I’ll admit it- I am a bit neurotic- I like to sleep on clean sheets; I like people to take their shoes off before traipsing through the house and I do think after a day of wearing a pair of jeans- it’s perfectly natural to chuck them in the hamper. All these things are completely foreign to my husband- and how is it that I did not see this side of him when we were courting– was I just so engulfed in my lust for him that I didnâ€™t notice the fact that he was wearing the same pair of Docker’s on our first three dates? Did I not notice that he never changed the sheets on his bed (until I bought him a new set?) Did I not notice that despite having a cream colored carpet in his apartment- he never saw the specs of dirt lodged in it- which I did and then brought over a vacuum cleaner to clean it? Was I just so enamored with him- that all these things seemed extraneous? Or have 13 years of marriage- changed my perspective– and made these little “cleanliness quirks” of his more irksome than before?
I don’t know, I don’t have any answers- except that he will likely continue to take the jeans out of the hamper and tell me I’m obsessed with cleaning and – regardless of what he says I will change the sheets. And life and our marriage will go onâ€¦