When birthday presents go bad…

That old wives tale about Jewish girls not wanting to perform certain actions (ahem) well as a Jewish girl, I can only speak for myself but really unless there’s a medical reason compelling me to perform said act- as in- my husband’s life is hanging in the balance and the only way to save him from death’s grasp would be to perform said act, are the circumstances that would warrant my performing said act.

So, given the fact that I don’t adore said act (but ladies– which one of us can say with complete unabashed certainty that we LOVE doing this service for our significant others- unless we are ladies of the night and getting paid to do so, and you know those ladies of the night are just doing their job as perfunctorily as possible- but I digress).

So this year, when my husband turned the big 53, I truly thought what can I get this man- who returns the wallets I buy for him, saying the ratty old one he’s been carrying around ala George Costanza- just bursting at the seams with receipts, phone numbers scrawled on scraps of paper is all he needs, for his present?

And then while in Chinatown one day I found a cute little box, that had a small slot to insert money- and a 1950’s era style looking photo of a clean cut guy, who had this real earnest look on his face, and scrawled right above his picture in big letters was the phrase, ” I’m saving up for a Blow JOB.”  I thought; how cute, funny and a gift my husband- who knows, performing said act is not on my bucket list, would appreciate. So I gave it to him, thinking he would laugh his ass off- and then begin to fastidiously stockpile those dollar bills and quarters to save up.

Well, I could not have been more off the mark- my sugar daddy thought it was not all that funny. And that he should not have to PAY for said act. Of course I agree, it should be part of the marital contract, as in once a year on your birthday, after placing a very large bauble on my neck, ears or wrists.

Well, tomorrow is my birthday and I’ll be honest- if he gives me a little box , with a sweet looking 1950’s housewife and saying scrawled on top that says, I’m saving up for a night  of hot sex with my husband well…I’d take it with BIG wide OPEN ARMS!..You reading this honey?!

Tell me the truth ladies… do any of you REALLY like performing said act… am I missing something?!

Comments

  1. says

    I’m SO sure this is TMI – but, yeah, I kinda do. I think it’s that feeling of power thing.
    Plus, it means I don’t necessarily have to have sex. Much less mess and bother. And no need to get naked.

    also – I seriously think my husband wouldn’t have even married me had I felt differently. Seriously.

  2. says

    depending on the guy!!! some guys – funnnn. others..not so much fun. all depends (clinical here) on how aroused everyone is at that moment- if i know it is going to rock his world then why not!
    BUT it cannot be demanded. if it is demanded, i need to shut it down!!! xo.

  3. Jeralyn says

    I know this is going to spread on the Internet like wildfire but…I love to do this for my man! I happen to have honed my “skillz” and it makes me feel good to know I’m making him feel *that* good ya know?

    Does that make me a freak..or just freaky? lol

  4. Theresa says

    Not myself Jewish, but my husband is. Good thing he doesn’t like said act, because I can’t get past eeeeeeewwwwwww

  5. says

    this is something both partners should feel comfortable with because otherwise it’s no fun. personally, i like it *a lot* and it is a turn on for me to see how much my partner enjoys it.
    the fun stops if there is pressure involved. i once had a bf who thought it’s mandatory. well geez, guess who wasn’t around for long.

  6. says

    WOW…I never knew that certain women didn’t like it….I actually didn’t know that any woman didn’t like it. I personally love it. It’s like Nancy said about feeling the power.

    love it
    love it
    love it

    Guess that makes me weird huh?