Although I live in NYC, going into Manhattan each day via express bus or via the Bridge ala Working Girl- is not something I relish, especially during the oh so crowded month of December. Sure Sarah Jessica Parker made running the streets of Manhattan in six inch stilettos look glamorous, but the reality of it–I’m guessing- Ms. Parker has got some JACKED UP feet.
I spent the better part of Wednesday flitting around Manhattan, attempting in vain to hit up holiday soiree upon soiree, all while trying desperately to get my phone to grab any signal so that I could work in between meetings. I even stood in a specific hot spot of a Starbucks kiosk, which I was told was the only place I could grab a signal– and the lovely baristas sang to me the entire time ( one of the highlights of this experience)– oh and unlike Sarah Jessica -my heels were KILLING ME despite stuffing the backs of them with Starbucks napkins to keep my chafing blistered ankles from bleeding everywhere.
So here I am weighed down with bags of swag sweating like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News and I call my husband- who did I mention that although he carries a cell phone he hardly ever actually turns it on because he doesn’t want to waste the battery? So I finally catch him..
Me: “Hi honey can you find out when the next express bus is coming and where I can pick it up? I’m on 3rd and 50th street.”
The sugar daddy: ” How do I do that?”
Me: ” Can you google it?”
The Sugar Daddy: ” The computer is not on…do you want me to turn it on?”
Me (knowing that my husband will probably not be able to negotiate this via the internet–and still standing in this tiny kiosk of Starbucks about to faint as the tissues in my shoes fill with blood) : Can you just call 311?”
The Sugar Daddy: ” And what do you want me to ask them?”
Me: ( Now I feel like we’re Abbott & Costello playing a game of who’s on first and I DON’T WANT TO PLAY) ” Can you find out which express bus I can catch and where I can catch it (PICTURE me SHRIEKING AT THIS POINT)”
The Sugar Daddy: “Honey if you need to yell at someone, you can yell at me. I’m sorry you’re having a tough day. Okay I’ll call you back.”
Morale of this little post : Any husband that will willingly take on your frustration and not just hang up on the phone on you is a keeper even if he can’t for the life of him, operate a search engine like Google.