I am eternally fascinated by the sex lives of other married couples. But I was particularly *astounded* by the unique lifestyle of Rod and Anita Nairne who went from Conservative Middle-Aged Couple to Provocative Sexual Surrogates. Married for 44 years, at the age of 53 and 57, they decided to research sexuality with a hands-on approach and became sexual surrogates for 10 years and ultimately their relationship thrived!
Here is their story:
Torn apart by the accidental death of their 16-year- old, only child, their world became a circle with no corner to hide: a noose that slowly, over many years, strangled all desire to maintain their established life. From the beginning, they refused to acknowledge the potential of sexual closure, common to such tragedy. Their intimacy evolved in ways few therapists consider. Constantly expanding their sexual boundaries provided the highly charged spiritual fuel necessary to meld.
Thirteen years after their sonâ€™s death, Rod sold his busy chiropractic office. They designed an unorthodox, emotionally charged focus: A profession where they could work together while continuing to help others. Combining their skills of Chiropractic and Art Therapy, Rod and Anita made a dramatic choice to go where few will ever consider; a place far too emotionally dangerous for most. For ten-years they worked as Sexual Surrogates creating a private, safe and clean environment for women, men and couples to experience their sexual fantasies. During those years their relationship flourished. Their sexual knowledge and compassion for others increased dramatically as they physically and emotionally (always together) explored the sexual dreams of others.
They’ve detailed their journey in their book, Love is For Sharing: A passionate autobiography contrasting their battle through grief with the humor and ever expanding vitality of sex; it is an erotic book for modern couples wishing to break apart stereotyped walls of gender biased communication.
Personally I loved how open they were about their story and had to find out more…keep reading for my interview with them!
Married my sugar daddy: What are the three to five biggest misconceptions about the sexual married life you have chosen?
Misconceptions. There are countless misconceptions surrounding the importance of monogamy in marriage. Each perception will vary in significance from one individual to the next. After working intimately with over three thousands clients we learned the major source of all sexual misconception involves gender stereotyping. Each male client is remarkably different than the next male as each female stands apart from the next woman. Clients who came to us as couples were by far the most complex as personal fantasies are multiplied by four. If you give us a list of your personal perceptions we will address them. You are asking us as â€˜expertsâ€™ to present the misconception then give the reason it is not true. Our answer will have little meaning if we ask the question.
Married my sugar daddy: Why have you chosen this alternative married sex life style?
Our sexuality provided the grounding to survive the death of our only child. As professionals (chiropractic and art therapy) we questioned why patients, friends and clients did not use sex as a healing tool. Why do so many couples pull away from each other when presented with grief in all its forms: from simple financial disharmony to extreme grief? Thirteen years after the death of our son we decided to research sexuality far beyond sterile surveys. We became hands-on sexual surrogates with the intent to document our findings. Love is For Sharing is compiled from ten-years and over three thousand sessions with couples, men and women. During those years we strove to help our clients learn how to use sex as the drug of choice to bond and conquer lifeâ€™s on-going traumas.
Married my sugar daddy: Can you be out about it with your family and friends; do you feel it’s an unfair stigma placed on you as well as other couples who choose this married lifestyle?
There was never a reason, or a desire, to burden family or friends with our lifestyle. An expression we coined from those years is: Shared sexual fantasy is the ultimate game of secrets. Not secrets between the lovers but secrets from all others. We advise all our clients and readers: “never share with friends what you share with a lover”. If you have a friend who is more important to you than your husband/wife, your relationship is incomplete. Most important: Never court potential lovers from your circle of friends.
Married my sugar daddy: What are the benefits of this sex life and do you feel it is sustainable for a lifetime of marital bliss?
We absolutely do not recommend that other couples experiment with sex outside of their relationship until they have lived together for many years and shared extremes of joy and pain. Expanding into extramarital sex must never be considered a solution to boredom. If a young couple is bored, they are mismatched intellectually. The human sexual imagination is unlimited and sharing secrets is the ultimate game of fantasy that only expands once trust is established. This is not a game for young adults who wish to live together and perhaps raise children. Long before such a game is considered a high level of communication must be attained. A degree of openness never before reached.
We have treated many couples who considered extramarital sex before they truly learned the art of communication. For these marriages, extramarital sex was a futile escape; it was rarely a solution.
To learn more about this fascinating couple check out their site at http://www.loveisforsharing.com