The Is he your dad or grandpa Files: How old is TOO old for a man to father a child?

I know a little something about older men having babies. It is harder on the kids than on the old men. How do I know this? My husband is 15 years older than me and while he is in great physical shape (sounds like I’m taking about a show dog rather than a man) the facts are indisputable. These facts, the ones my 10 year old somehow manages to weave into our nightly dinner conversations is, “Mommy you know when I’m 18 Daddy will be 65. That’s like an old guy right?” And while I then proceed to launch into my soliloquy which praises his dad, and points out all his dad’s youthful qualities- the fact that he does coach his baseball little league team- the fact that he goes running and biking with him and yes they play touch football on our lawn Kennedy style– the fact remains that he’s got an older dad. In fact- HIS DAD is the oldest dad of all his friends’ dads. I guess when you are 10 years old you have a lot of time to discuss these things and compare and contrast notes about your respective dads- you know whose dad could beat up a superhero, whose dad is ready for the AARP and so on and so forth.

The Is he your  dad or Grandpa Files: How old is TOO old  for a man to father a child?

Of course I’m biased but I can’t imagine having any other man be the father of my kids. I can’t imagine that a younger man (albeit one who stayed up past 9:30 pm would be nice) could parent and love these kids any more fiercely than their dad. Do I think his age puts my kids at a disadvantage. I’d say in certain aspects yes– his tolerance level for noise is that I’ve an older man. In other words if he had a cane he’d be that crotchety old guy tapping it on the ceiling and telling our kids to pipe down. I think younger men are less bothered by noise and general child tumult. I think his age also lends itself to his ability to nap. THE MAN CAN NAP anywhere anytime. He tires easily- but then again when I met him at 38- he was also a pretty good napper- so I’m not quite sure that theory holds very much weight. And of course he has gotten the old, “oh your grandson is so cute”- from a fellow older man passerby while sitting next to our son- who usually is even older than my husband.

Why do I bring this topic up now? Because I read something by an adult ( who had a much older father) which confounded me even further on this whole issue….

“My father was 59 when I was born. People always thought he was my grandfather– no big deal. BUT he was way past the ‘take the kids sledding/fishing/hunting/camping/hiking/everything else school. We were never close, and the kids really DO pay a pretty heavy cost for a senior citizen parent. But would it be better not to ever exist at all? That’s way too metaphysical a question for most of us to answer.”

What do you think: How old is TOO old for a man to father a child?


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