The Custom Mommy Makeover: can I vomit now or later?

I get a lot of cray-cray, offensive, want to punch someone in the mouth pitches from pr firms on a daily basis but today I got this one and well it just made me very sad and slightly nauseous.

I'm starting to despise these dolls

“A Mommy Makeover, a combination of plastic surgery procedures designed to restore the body to its pre-pregnancy state, can refresh a patient’s face—and life—as well.
Dr. Byron D. Poindexter, board-certified plastic surgeon with The Austin-Weston Center for Cosmetic Surgery in Reston, VA, says that a Mommy Makeover is “really whatever we want it to be. Most women see the effects of pregnancy on their stomach and their breasts, but the effects of pregnancy are really on each and every area of the body. Maybe it’s extra lines and wrinkles on the face, or the neck starts to sag. ”

So let’s just rip this apart piece by piece and analyze what makes it SO.VERY.WRONG.

#1 Using the word mommy. The word mommy, at least for me, in some ways reduces women to young girls, in its tone and very familiar sound. As if women can only be defined by their status as a mommy, not that there’s anything necessarily wrong with that, but it just rubs me the wrong way. I’d rather be referred to as a woman, not as a mommy.

#2 Restore the body to its pre pregnancy state. Why as women are we being pressured to retain our perky breasts and wrinkle free skin. WHY is growing older frowned upon and the effects of which need to be erased. WHY are we okay with getting rid of our wrinkles?

#3 This term refresh. Are we produce? What is so damn appealing about looking fresh–unless you are a piece of fruit?

#4 The effects of pregnancy are really on each and every area of the body.
Well D’uh. You just carried around another human being in your womb for nine whole months…why is it so crucial that your body should reflect NO signs whatsoever of your once pregnant state.

Bottom Line: The world, or at very least this Dr., expects women to as Tina Fey summed it up best, be this FOREVER… “Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall butt, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling. – Tina Fey
And it all just makes me want to SCREAM…

Comments

  1. says

    You just did scream. When are they going to send out emails that read, ‘Dear Daddy Blogger, Erase the signs of age and beer from your body. Wouldn’t you love to de-hair your ears and nose? How about that gut? A little lipo never hurt anyone. Refresh your chest with a nice breast reduction on your man boobs, and your back with some acne care treatments. Maybe those huge pores and sagging nose are attractive to you, but what about your gorgeous wife?’

  2. says

    I understand what the plastic surgeon’s trying to say but it most definitely does come across as offensive. I agree with you, Melissa. Shouldn’t you be able to age gracefully and what’s wrong with showing your pregnancy battle scars? Great post. And just FYI, I have yet to receive any emails asking about my beer belly. I’ll gladly review beer-related products, though. :) (But not beer belly vanishing creams.)

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