Should it matter that my husband doesn’t believe in an afterlife?

Since my father died I’ve been slightly obsessed with getting some sign of life from him from the great beyond. And maybe I am a little over zealous to receive this sign as I might just over-read normal every day activities as them being- my dad. My husband ever the staunch realist, tells me I am ridiculous, and that NO, choking on a piece of matzah, right before I exclaim out loud how much I miss my dad, is indeed not my dad contacting me from the great beyond. He wants to make it clear to me that all these “perceived signs” I “think” I’m getting from beyond- are just happy coincidences and my way of processing my grief and trying to comfort myself with false hope.

Should it matter that my husband doesn't believe in an afterlife?image courtesy

And you know what I think? He just doesn’t want me to believe in an afterlife- because just like Larry David he wants to get his game on in that afterlife– and so once we die- he can essentially be a free man- no longer tethered to me and well he can be that player he’s always longed to be.

Of course he says that’s not true- he claims that there is just no empirical evidence to support any afterlife activity and so how can I or anyone justify that it does indeed exist. And he’s right, except how can he live that way? Knowing that this is all there is- and that there is no possibility that he will see me- the LOVE OF HIS LIFE- once we pass away- how can he live with that fact?! And how can he possibly believe that spirits don’t exist when there’s Teresa Caputo from Long Island Medium?!

The sugar daddy: “It’s impressive, how would she know all those things unless she had some kind of power.”

Me: So then you believe?

The Sugar daddy: “I guess it’s intriguing, it doesn’t make me believe. But how do we know how much they talked about off-camera?”

Me: “They don’t talk about anything”

The Sugar Daddy: ” Well I’ll give you that she’s amazing, I think we need to make an appointment with her…okay am I excused or do I have to continue watching with you”


Ultimately…“Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”― Vicki Harrison

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