Before I got married- I deluded myself (based on my unnatural thirst for slightly cheesy Danielle Steel novels)into believing great sex meant- lustful romps, swinging from chandeliers, donning lacy lingerie and having a trail of rose petals to follow to a bed replete with satin sheets.
Of course I could not have been more wrong.
After 17 years of marriage- great sex is being able to actually have sex before a little person starts to cry and decides he is much happier sleeping between his parents than alone on his brand spanking new mattress with every bell and whistle.
But of course the act of actually doing it- while its very essence and the feeling it engenders cannot be discounted- i.e. the big O- which feels akin to jumping off a cliff and floating on this great field of energy and achieving an almost weightlessness, for me, the best part is ultimately what happens before (and after).
A few days ago-my husband and I found ourselves alone, with no technology to distract and occupy our attention. Because to be perfectly honest we are both a bit addicted to the tube- and in lieu of having a conversation- we’ll sit- like a married old couple and watch a television show which often constitutes our quality time. I admit I panicked–no television to buffer the silence, to kick start the dialogue and then my husband said, “Let’s play cards.”
After looking at him like he had two heads-because in our 17 years of marriage- other than playing spit and war with my kids and rummy with my dad (g-d rest his soul) the two of us- have never played a game of any sort (unless you count the part where he chases me around the couch and tackles me when he’s feeling frisky).
So I found a deck of cards and we played FIVE games. But the best part (other than winning four of them) was the conversation. We talked for an hour- without the hum of Hollywood dialogue and canned laughter in the back ground. I honestly don’t remember specifically what we said; all I know is that sitting next to him, feeling his hand brush against mine as he reached for a card, or playfully stroked my cheek, was the best foreplay I’ve experienced in a long while. In fact, I’m keeping a deck of cards in my night table drawer you know- just in case.