Older dads- this younger wife’s perspective aka 5 reasons older dads ROCK

My husband is 54 years old. Our son is seven- which means when our son is graduating high school his dad will be 64. These are the facts, and I’m Okay with the facts or at least I THOUGHT I was okay until I read an article with the title Will you be there for your kids 40th birthday and for a SPLIT Second I began to sweat.

Does that thought make me nervous? Am I worried that my husband won’t live long enough to see my son get married and have kids of his own? I’d be lying if I said no– but I also know that none of us is guaranteed anything on this planet- let alone tomorrow.

In a perfect world- I wish I met my husband when I was 18- so we could have gotten busy faster
(although he would have been 33 at the time and NEVER would’ve dated me fresh out of high school).

And while I think the coupling of Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris is a bit insane and any kids they have clearly will have issues OTHER than their ENORMOUS age gap to deal with–I also feel like when you find the person you want to share your life-you take a leap of faith in terms of everything. There are no guarantees you will have 10 or 50 years with this person. There are no guarantees a tragedy won’t befall you or your spouse, there are no guarantees your marriage will survive. The only guarantee you have is this very moment. The present and in my present when I think about my husband’s ability to be a father- I think so much of what makes him such a good dad is his advanced age.

So here is my case– 5 reasons older dads rock

#1 Being older he’s so much more mellow and relaxed. He’s traveled, he’s done the bachelor thing (in case I didn’t make it clear I’m a first wife– so my man lived a bachelor life till the ripe old age of 40!) he’s figured out who he is and really made it his first priority to be as connected and involved with the raising of our two kids as I could ever have hoped for.

#2 He wanted these children as soon as we were married- and when I was content with one, it was he who pushed me to have another.(And I am SO glad he did)

#3  As the AARP is calling his name, his hips are hurting him and his hair is far greyer than its once jet black, he doesn’t waste time sweating the small stuff- like the fact that our house is overrun with Legos and One Direction posters.

#4  Having lived on this planet far longer than me- he can pretty much answer all those history questions our kids ask him- without having to google for the answer.

#5 Knowing that time is of the essence- he is determined to squeeze in as many, ” You have to do it because I’m your father and I said so”– and for that I am grateful.

And of course I empathize with his qualms about being an older dad, and it didn’t help when he was recently sitting at our local community center with our son and an even “older guy” came up to the two of them and said, “Oh your grand son is so cute- you’re such a good grandfather.” In fact I think it was the nail in the coffin in solidifying the fact that the next baby we have in this house, will be one of our future grand babies.

Of course I’ve pointed out all the older gentleman who’ve produced heirs well into their 80’s to which my husband responds, “Do you really think that Larry King is playing horsie on the floor with his kids without having to pop several pain relievers and taking many rest periods in between each piggy back ride, or simply paying a much younger fella to play with his kids?” To which I can only respond, “Well, if you have to hire a younger guy- he can entertain me too!” to which he usually shoots me a dirty look.

What I do know is this: Right here and right now- he is the kind of dad I hoped my kids would have; he’s fully present, he wants to be able to be as active and as involved with his kids as he possibly can and never ever wants his kid to be the one with the “elderly dad”. Which is really funny because our son loves to walk around the house and sing songs about how old all his friends’ dads are compared to my husband–and luckily my husband thinks it’s cute and simply smiles.

So what’s your take on the older dad thing–good or bad?

Comments

  1. Melinda T says

    Tough question. I don’t think age matters, though you did make good points, but I think its more important how involved he is in your child’s life. I’m 31, my husband is 32, in a lot of ways he’s still a big kid, waiting on me to tell him what to do and how to do it…drives me crazy. Especially when asking me how to make a bottle, change a diaper, how to answer …but, as our girls have gotten older (7 and 2) and yes, him too, he’s been wanting to do more with them and for that I’m grateful.

  2. Michelle says

    I totally understand what you are saying. My husband and I got married 3 years ago, I was 28 and he was 47. We have two kids (almost 3 and almost 1). With one more in the plans! I would have it no other way. He is an amazing dad, so patient, kind, generous, caring! He loves his kids and waited a long time for them. I think he is so brave to face life knowing that he will only have limited time with his kids- but believe me he makes the most of it. Like you said no one is guaranteed anything, so if you find love- go with it. I could list a million things that I love about my older man- but number 1: can you say retirement?! We are but a couple of years till he can retire and we can move on to a whole new way of life with out the ambition of ‘making a name’ for your self. Sure my kids may have a non-traditional way of life (like they had any chance of that anyway), and praise God that we all live to ripe old ages, I will still have shared my life with the only man that fits me perfectly!

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