My ovaries have a mind of their own

In August I turned 38… and my ovaries- heck I’m well aware that they’ve been slowly drying up since my mid-twenties and therefore I felt very comfortable- or so I thought in my decision to stop at two kids.

Then as celebrities like Celine Dion and a bevy of women I know have been poppin out babies like there’s something in the water supply- I’m feeling like maybe my decision to keep my very traditional family- a boy, a girl a dog and a house with a husband status quo, needs to be reconsidered. Of course- unlike Sarah Jessica Parker- who Lord knows how much she paid to have a surrogate carry her baby, whether or not she actually used her own eggs- which at her advanced over 40 years would probably not be the way to go–I don’t have an endless supply of Sex and in the City funds to dip into to add to my brood.

If there’s going to be any more kids- they’re going to have to be added the old-fashioned way. I want to smell that newborn hair, fold little onesies, try breastfeeding this time, redo all the mistakes in hindsight I think I may have made with my two kids… who are probably no worse for the wear- but still I’ve got this VERY small window of opportunity left.

Or maybe this yearning for a baby- is more about my coming to terms with my mortality than it is about getting pregnant and bringing another life into this world– another kid that will need me as my others do 24/7– and really I’m having a hard enough time-as it is – splitting myself in two. No I would not relish changing diapers- and 2am feedings- and yet the thought that I will never get pregnant again- is just so depressing and symbolic of the end of this phase of my life… what’s next… I’m not sure I’m ready to close this chapter…

Oh yes and then there’s the issue of my Sugar Daddy and his rapidly advancing age.

Comments

  1. says

    I was 37 when my youngest was born. I understand completely. Sending lots of good karma from these strong Eastern European breeding-type-hips-o-mine!

  2. says

    I am so there with you. I am 38 about to be 39 and I change my mind by the day.I;ve resolved that I want another baby to hold and snuggle but I;m not crazy for the pregnancy part.I wish I had SJP endless supply of funds because I would so pay a surrogate to carry a new baby for us. I loved being pregnant but I just don’t think my body would handle it like it did in my early 30’s:)
    Of course, my youngest (4) has been begging me for another baby. I told her to talk to her Daddy.I’m on board if he is:)
    I am so with you on the not wanting to have the option taken away.

  3. Sonya says

    I had my babies at 24 and 27, I thought I was finished too! That contagious baby fever hit me hard and I had another last year at age 38, yes I wrote 38. So my kids are now 15, 12 and turning 1 tomorrow. Am I finished? NO! I plan on having one more and since I am nursing I may have one when I am 40 if God will bless only bless us with another. It was harder on my body being older, I was tired 30 minutes after waking up. I would have had more earlier but I kept saying we couldn’t afford one….big mistake! My advice is to go make a baby! I think there are very few moms wishing they wouldn’t have had another and more moms regretting they didn’t have more!! I am the mom who wishes I would have had more!

  4. Tracy Bragg says

    GO FOR IT. I got remarried two years ago, had already had 4 kids and last year got urge to procreate with my awesome husband but it is not to be. I am 43 and have been off bc for a year after 2 MC. I don’t want my reply to sound like a “TTC” message board but all I can say is do it before it’s too late:):) My option is taken away and I only wish I would have re-started earlier:) Just “see what happens” :):)

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