For those of you who pay little to no attention to celebrity ROCKSTAR marriages- i.e. ones that have lasted longer than a Brittany Spears or Kim Kardashian fiascos– I am slightly crestfallen over a few celebrity couples whose long standing unions are currently either in the midst of separation or divorce proceedings
Unfortunately for married couples, defying the odds in Hollywood is gravely different than for those in non-Hollywood life. I know what you’re thinking- oh those poor Hollywood couples dripping in diamonds and cash, with homes in several countries and a gaggle of nannies and entourages following them and tending to their broods. It must be so hard to keep a marriage afloat under those “excruciatingly difficult circumstances”. And here is my retort; having all that money, help and luxury cannot mask or take the place of a relationship. It can’t enhance the quality of a marriage- it can only alleviate the added financial burdens us regular married folk face, like which bill to pay this month (do we need heat or cable?!).
So while their finances may be squared away- there’s still the wok of the marriage to be tended to; marriage is like a garden, if you don’t water it every day, it will wilt and die. It’s that simple. If you and your spouse are not communicating, physically seeing each other, spending quality time with one another and your kids- well all the diamonds you throw at one another will not strengthen your relationship (I know sparkly things are nice, but how many diamond bracelets can a girl really wear, or need?).
These celeb high powered couples also live under a microscope few of us could tolerate- where every move, action and picture snapped of us is scrutinized, and of course this can lead to misunderstandings and even INFIDELITY. How many of us regular married folk can say we could cope under the strain of so many eyes watching and taking the temperature of our relationship? Or seeing our spouse photographed- perhaps innocently in the arms of another and not feel a twinge of jealousy? When you strip away the diamonds and money, celebrity couples are just like us, they are not immune to feelings of insecurity, lust and every other emotion a married couple faces. Except– in the case of a celebrity, when you are two actors filming in different locations, having not seen your spouse for weeks or days on end, and feeling lonely and insecure– well maybe it’s a little easier to stray outside your marriage. And of course, in the case of celebrities, having two strong alpha egos in one house is hard enough, but in a marriage it is nearly impossible to sustain all alpha all of the time. And if that alpha in the marriage is the female, well it takes a VERY strong male to accept his non-alpha role, and celebrities are not usually known for their humility.
Yet some celebrity couples seemed above all this. But maybe the stresses of family life, juggling it all and well- maybe the rock star, jet set life finally wore them down, maybe they stopped talking, maybe they just stopped watering their marriage.
But let’s get real celeb or not marriage is hard, you need to put in the work and if you don’t your marriage simply can’t survive.