I felt it was incumbent on me to share some NUGGETS of wisdom I have gleaned from *somehow* finding myself smack dab in an Orange County and New Jersey Housewives marathon on Bravo TV ( clearly a much more effective way to pass the time than say- folding the laundry that has been sitting on my son’s bed for the past few days and which is providing him with the perfect excuse to get cozy in my bed along with my two shih tzus and husband –it is no longer cozy– it’s just CRAMPED!
So without further ado, here are some life lessons learned from Bravo TV housewives:
If you throw a birthday party for four year olds… during your speech its probably not appropriate to divulge every last detail of your horrific pregnancy and near death experience, especially when you’ve got a captive audience of four year olds hanging on your every last word.
When you think your husband is cheating on you..don’t go into therapy— instead RENEW your vows and throw yourself into planning a huge party, which will have you focusing even LESS on your relationship.
When throwing a puppy/princess birthday party for your kids…their parents MIGHT not appreciate when you drop a bombshell like, “ALL THESE PUPPIES are available to take home, so start working on your parents now”.
If you’ve got Orange County and or New Jersey Housewife money– then in order to keep your marriage vital- you must invest in TWO separate toilets- a his n hers– because the WORST, possible thing you can do is allow your spouse to even CONCEIVE of the fact that you engage in certain human bodily functions.
NEVER get your husband’s name tattooed on your ring finger, as it will HURT like hell to have to SURGICALLY remove his name and be left with Frankenstein stitches.
Check your personal trainer’s bag at the door.. cause you never know when girlfriend has a bottle of wine stashed in her gym bag, and is sneaking swigs while you’re doing your pushups.
Why use your legs to walk, when you can rely on someone else’s legs (aka that of the Rickshaw guy) to get you where you need to go.
Let’s be real… THERE ARE ENDLESS LESSONS TO BE learned from these housewives, so share what is one thing you’ve gleaned from their ENDLESS nuggets of wisdom?