I got married at the tender age of 25 and now at 38 years old it feels like I was a FETUS back then. I was completely and utterly swept up in wedding MANIA. I stopped eating so that I could be an itty, bitty bride, I wanted to overflowing flowers, the eight piece band, steak for all and yes my dear, sweet husband-to-be obliged me. We even did a full-out religious ceremony — which for my husband a secular, non-believing person was in and of itself a huge sign that he was ready to compromise and bend in ways he never would have imagined pre-marriage. And my new husband, out of the goodness and kindness of his heart and because I didn’t want to ask my cash-strapped parents who always seemed to be mired in financially dire straights to take out yet another mortgage they couldn’t afford to shoulder- paid for the entire shebang. I know, he’s a prince, really a TOTAL prince.
Except now, as I look back on those table pictures- which by the way we had to pay an extra $200 per tale picture for- because the photographer said it wasn’t a part of the package (don’t even get me started with these all-inclusive packages they ripe you into and then once you sign the dotted line- somehow- NOTHING IS INCLUDED) and realize that I have remained friends with less than a handful of my guests. And I have a lot of regrets.
I know at 25 years old, I was still just trying to figure out who I was, I was certainly a bit shallow and may have put a lot more effort and thought into creating a facade for others so that I could be perceived a certain way. Now at 38, if I could get remarried and do it all over again here is what I’d do.
-NEVER get married in a tradition wedding hall.EVER. PERIOD. SO much money for a cookie cutter celebration. No I’d choose a place that felt very special and uniquely me- one that spoke to the best part of what I felt my relationship with my husband to be was.
– I’d choose LOTS of color- as opposed to the very blah colors of black, white and silver- which were so safe but BORING.
-I’d write my own vows and INSIST on incorporating them into a religious ceremony.
– I would invite maybe a 1/3 of the people I originally did- I’d keep it small and intimate so that we could ALL get once and drunk together without anyone getting offended.
-I would dance so many more dances with my father- than just the one- oh how I wish I could dance with my father again.