Apparently, if you believe the Daily Star Kim Kardashianâ€™s boyfriend of the moment Kanye West, has requested that she get rid of her hair extensions. What leg does he have to stand on, in making SUCH A DEMAND? â€œSheâ€™s beautiful without themâ€. This latest kim/kanye kerfuffle got me thinking…has your husband or boyfriend tried to change you?
Listen I married a man who is fifteen years older than me- so of course he attempted to wield his I’ve lived on this earth longer than you I know better, so you need to listen to me attitude over me when we first met. I think my mother even referred to him as a SVENGALI. But the truth is- we have very different tastes and ideas about clothing. And while I did try to get into his preferred twin sets and Liz Claiborne mom style jeans and buttoned down oxford shirts ( which I subsequently have torn up and use as shmatas to clean my bathroom) I know, or at least always believed his advice was coming from a good place. A sincere place- and being far more conservative than me he just didn’t think my tight shirts and skin tight painted on jeans did me justice- or
I was 23, and VERY malleable, when we met and the truth is I definitely did modify my look to please him. I stopped wearing my high heel platform sneakers and glittery white eye shadow. I tried to don those buttoned down cardigan and khakis…but I felt like a fraud, and to be quite honest I felt kind of dowdy and frumpy too. I am a short girl- and being a big breasted woman I need to maximize the very small amount of space that exists between my breasts and waist and if I wear an amorphous shirt- well it just looks like I’m top heavy with no waist.
Still I did initially want to please him, I so desperately needed his approval- I needed it for my self esteem. At 23 I didn’t realize that I needed those things to come from within and no amount of changing the way I dressed or his comments would make me feel good. I needed to feel good on my own.
So I told him I was done wearing the mom jeans and the twin sets and reclaimed my personal style which is ever evolving- and while it doesn’t quite resemble the Lands Ends models my husband covets- I feel like I’ve found a happy medium- clothes that make me feel good and my husband doesn’t abhor. Although today he told me I’m in desperate need of a bra intervention (what he really means is he’d like me to find a bra which resembles a straight jacket….)
So, how do you feel about changing your look to please your partner- have you done it?