I’ve been married for 18 years and with my husband for 20 years. I met him when I was 23 years old and while I truly believed I knew all there was to know about men, the bottom line is I knew NOTHING. I mean how could I possibly, truly understand what it feels like to think and be a man– I’m a woman. I don’t own those parts, I’m not privy to that psyche I simply don’t have INSIDER access to what goes on in the inner most workings of his head. Well all that changed ( quite unexpectedly I might add) when I gave birth to a member of the opposite sex.
It was, at least for me, a gradual reawakening to this other species- it was a chance to watch ( and take notes) on how this member of the male tribe EVOLVED. And yes it has explained to me in both large and small ways- what goes on inside the mind of my husband. It is akin to being a fly on the wall and getting a court-side seat to why it is when I tell my husband to do something, 20 minutes later it is not done and he says he never heard me tell him ( something my son says and does all the time). These Four things my son has taught me about the male species and more specifically my husband have actually allowed me to take a step back and breathe and rather than go on the offensive- I have learned to very carefully pick my battles, because now I am FINALLY beginning to understand what makes these Men I live with TICK.
#1 Boys like Men CANNOT MULTI-Task. If I ask my son a question while he is doing ANYTHING, watching TV, brushing his teeth, Staring into space and thinking about something, he will likely ignore me ( as will my husband). No he won’t ignore- he just won’t hear me. Really, he won’t hear anything I say because he can ONLY focus on one thing at a time ( much like my husband). Whereas I can be on the phone, computer, cleaning my dog’s ears and braiding my daughter’s hair and can STILL answer my son or husband when they ask me, “WHERE ARE MY SHOES?” Men- much like my son and husband are truly incapable of doing more than one thing at a time. So I’ve learned to ask for something when i have their COMPLETE attention ( instead of screaming like a banshee.) This knowledge has added years to my life.
#2 Boys like men can wear the same pair of pants for weeks. I thought my husband was the only person who could wear a pair of jeans until they simply faded away. And then I met my son, who can wear the same pair of pants for days and sees no problem or issue with the fact that he is WEARING THE SAME DIRTY PANTS FOR DAYS.
#3 Boys like men take their time in the bathroom. I thought there was NO ONE who could sit in the bathroom longer than my husband. Well my son has proven he has the chops to take down his father’s record. We are at the point in our relationship where he demands his privacy and of course I am more than happy to oblige but after thirty minutes in the bathroom I worry he has fallen down a rabbit hole. Much like my husband I will call in and say Are you okay and he will say. I”m fine MELISSA.
#4 Boys like men can take your breath away when you least expect it and remind you how utterly invested you are in them. My son can just look at me, or take my hand and tell me, ” Mommy I really love you,” and everything else, like the fact that he lost eight water bottles during the school year can just melt away. For those moments in time he has me locked in- I am his completely, utterly and so fully, his mom, his greatest ally and his number one fan. And yes, it’s true, my husband has this very same power over me.