Five things taking a vacation taught me about my marriage

I have to admit if you are looking to test the endurance of your marital union take a trip to any attraction that requires that you summon every last bit of patience you can muster so as not to knock your spouse square in the jaw out of sheer frustration because he’s muttering under his breath every few seconds that he refuses to spend $4.50 for a bottle of water that he can purchase at the grocery for $1.00..well then hit the road and you might just learn a thing or two about your marriage.. I know I did.

my husband

#1 If you start yelling at your husband because he tells you the park closes at 6pm- maybe you need to give yourself a time out. Find the nearest bartender and have him pour you a glass of wine- even if it does require that you fork over a cool $25 per glass and the rites to your first-born grandchild.

# 2 If one of you is walking twenty feet ahead of the other, and the only way you can find each other is to call the other’s cell phone- maybe you need to find a walking pace that works for everyone ( or split up and do your own thing). My husband has a tendency to walk REAL slow and I’ll admit there were several instances in which when I turned around I had no clue where he was and needed to walkie talkie him on our cell phones. If you can’t find a mutually agreed upon pace– BRING your cell phones- and then lose one another for a good hour… don’t “they” say absence makes the heart grow fonder?

#3 When your husband takes five minutes to set up a photo pose, as the sweat is profusley dripping from your brow, and the kids are crying because they are tired of taking pictures maybe it’s your turn to get behind the lens. I’ll admit I’m a bit snap happy- and my husband not so much- although once he gets behind the camera believes he’s an incarnation of Annie Lebovitz. So I have vowed to either take less pictures or ask some poor, unsuspecting passerby to take a picture of us.

#4 So your husband only brought one pair of jeans down for a five day trip…is it really worth splitting hairs over it?! And he doesn’t understand why you have a laundry bag in which you’re collecting the family’s dirty clothes. You’re on vacation-so feel free to borrow some of your spouse’s attitude when it comes to what the word DIRT really constitutes , i.e. unless you roll in mud and your shirt is DRIPPING in it- it’s not dirty. Agree to disagree and when you get home just throw EVERYTHING in the wash.

#5 If your marriage can survive a five day trip chock full of non-stop attractions, none of which include a stripper pole or a sporting event, think of it as a real milestone- especially if you are both actually speaking to each other on the plane ride home.

So spill…how has your marriage fared under the strain of standing on two hour lines, with shrieking kids, waiting for a two minute ride?!


  1. elissapr says

    OY…I so know about the slow walker…my DH is so slow…it would be faster to walk backwards….

  2. says

    Great post, Melissa! I’ve certainly been there a number of times. I actually have a great time on vacations when I go away with my wife and kids. Most of the time we don’t stress too much. The times that really get us though are when we vacation with another family, whether it’s relatives or just friends. That’s when the stress really rises and the “fun” begins.

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