I’m just going to come right out and say it. I don’t still get butterflies when I see my husband. Does that mean I’m falling out of love with him? Does it mean our love is not a strong as it once was?
When I ask him the same question he doesn’t respond at first. And then he says, “Well we’re used to each other and I feel bad that you don’t get butterflies because it’s a good, exciting feeling.”
But the truth is it’s hard to keep that excitement going in a marriage when you have a daughter who needs help with her three hours of nightly homework assignments, a son who was just sent home with a pretty bad report from a teacher (in a cursive handwritten note in RED INK no less) a dog who needs to be hand fed- oh yeah and that last rainfall you got- well it clued you into a brand new leak in your roof…
Here’s what I think- it has to be normal- you see that person day in and day out– there’s very little mystery left and unless you get butterflies over the fact that red peppers were on sale. Getting butterflies when your spouse walks in the room, on just an average ordinary day.. in his jeans and sweatshirt is likely not going to illicit the same butterflies seeing him walking into a room when you first met once did,(oh and in my case he’s wearing those same clothes).
The husband says, “You still excite me, but in a different way. You still turn me on but the day to day activities well they take away that newness and infatuation. And that’s what butterflies are they are newness and not true love. True love is dedication, respect…it’s just a different feeling especially after many years. It’s a stronger, deeper love– its better than butterflies. Now let’s hit the couch- with a bag of pretzels.”