Can Sexual Attraction Grow?

Yesterday I took part in a HuffPost Live chat in regards to A-list actress Amanda Seyfried’s recently made comment that she’s been immediately sexually attracted to everyone she’s dated and that sparks don’t grow. But is sexual attraction so cut and dry for everyone?If two people are not sexually attracted to one another immediately does that mean the relationship won’t work ?

If you would’ve asked me that question when I was 21 I would have said HELL NO. I would have agreed with Amanda and said attraction needs to be immediate. Without that immediate sexual chemistry it is impossible to go anywhere with said person. Then I met a guy who I will refer to as John Doe. My friends told me he resembled Steve Forbes ( not a man KNOWN for his face). He also had a very squeaky high-pitched voice and some slightly effeminate mannerisms. When we met on our initial date I thought- HELL NO- and was racking my brain trying to figure out a way to cut it as short as possible. John Doe was NOT HAVING my excuses and said we should go out for Chinese food. DING DING DING. He got me at my soft spot… I simply can’t say no to Chinese Food ever. With anyone.

So here we are on our first date. I still don’t find this guy attractive at all- but he is making me laugh. I am ROLLING ON THE FLOOR Laughing. And he is whip smart. And he is SO interested in ME and what I’m about. And he was refreshing and so different from the self-involved, superficial handsome guys I had dated. We went out on a few more dates and … I WAS SMITTEN. I fell in love. I fell in love with his brain and all of sudden I began to look at him and feel incredibly sexually attracted to him ( which of course most of my girlfriends STILL could not comprehend) P.S. We dated six months and then he broke my heart- after telling me a series of lies- but that’s fodder for another blog post!

The experience changed me- and I remember at the time it also changed the guys I was willing to go on a date with. I never said no because of a certain physical characteristic they possessed or didn’t– and I think that relationship was what ultimately led me to my sugardaddy who I will have KNOWN for 17 years tomorrow- Our FIRST date was July 19, 1997. EEK!

So tell me… do you think sexual attraction can grow- or it has to be there at first sight?

Comments

  1. says

    I agree with you that it is possibly an age thing. I wouldn’t have thought to give a relationship time to grow when I was younger, but I now have the life experience to know that yes, it can grow. :)

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