Some might say my husband was my rebound relationship as I met him about a month after breaking off a very volatile long term one with a man who, although I knew our union couldn’t every be consummated via wedded bliss, I simply couldn’t get out of my system. So I finally and very painfully ended our on again off again relationship for good. When I met my husband a month after our final breakup– I instantly knew he was the man I would marry. As I write this I realize it sounds like I simply fell into my husband’s arms on the rebound but yet –when we met- something in my gut told me this was the kind of relationship I had always craved and finally here was a guy who was ready to fully invest in a future with me. Fast forward four months and we were engaged. And luckily all through our whirlwind courtship I steered clear of my ex and did a pretty good job of it until the advent of facebook.
There is something so deliciously sinful about reconnecting with exes on facebook; getting that opportunity to see how they fared without you and yes maybe even to gauge whether you are doing better. And of course, facebook can simply just be a tool for reconnecting, sharing pictures and easy breezy comments –unfortunately though in the case with this particular ex of mine – this easy breezy banter did not apply. What began as accepting a friend request- seemed to ever so slowly spiral into more provocative questions and comments about my current marriage and whether or not I wanted to meet for drinks. This is not to say, by any means that one cannot and should not friend their ex boyfriend/girlfriend on facebook, but in my case– the temptation to fall into past patterns and put myself in a compromising situation was simply not worth gambling the love and stability of my marriage. And so, long story short I unfriended him, fast.
While my one experience has informed my decision to not friend ex boyfriends with whom there was unfinished business and so that air of chemistry still somewhat lingered– I know plenty of women who disagree with me- and are great friends on facebook and offline with their exes- so much so to the point of double dating with them and their partners in real life. Perhaps those exes who were just fun and fancy free sex (if my mom is reading this, think of this last line as poetic license) perhaps the superficiality of a facebook friendship poses no threat to your current relationship.
So I’m curious what you think; Can Married Men and Women Stay friends with their Ex on Facebook?