Can an OPEN marriage be sustained long-term?

So it’s that time of the week again  Saturdays with the sugar daddy and this week we have a FEW fun topics I’m posing to my sugar daddy. We were just casually chatting and I jokingly asked him what he thought about open marriage to which he replied, “Who wouldn’t want an open marriage?!” So I had to dig deeper…
Here is our follow-up conversation

Can an OPEN marriage be sustained long-term?


Me:”Wait do you want an open marriage?”

The sugar daddy:” Of course not, it was a joke”

Me: “But isn’t the truth said in jest?”

The sugar daddy: “Obviously I don’t think a relationship can work when it’s open, for anyone involved, it defeats the purpose of a relationship. If you want to have a relationship, if you are going to have multiple sex partners it undermines the intimacy you can establish with your main relationship- i.e. your wife. I don’t think men really want an open relationship- or if they do it’s probably one sided- wherein they can be the only ones indulging – not their wives.”

Me: But do you think an open marriage can be sustained, if it’s “open” just on the man’s part?

The sugar daddy: Not really, because how is that benefiting the wife.

Me: Well Maybe if a husband has insatiable sexual needs that just one woman couldn’t fulfill-  having an open marriage, takes some of this pressure off the wife, and lets another woman pick up the slack in servicing his needs?

The sugar daddy:  The truth is- if you are going to have an open marriage- you can’t call it a marriage.

Me: So back to my question, why don’t you think a marriage can be open and work?

The sugar daddy: It’s just human nature that jealousies will arise and it can only lead to disaster- it just completely undermines the sanctity of a marriage. Put it this way- if you feel the need to have sex with another woman outside of your marriage- then you are obviously lacking something within your marriage that you either need to work on, or you need to admit that your marriage is no longer viable.

Me: But isn’t it true that that’s the fantasy of all married men to have multiple wives/ sex partners?

The sugar daddy: Yes, that’s the fantasy it’s not real. It could never work in real life.

Me: Wait but what about that show, sister wives?

The sugar daddy: I don’t know how they do it. How can they not be jealous of each other. Also they went into that relationship under those terms, knowing what it was– whereas, we entered our marriage with just the two of us.

Me: Wait.. what if I said, honey go for it- take on another sex partner-I’m okay with it- oh and I’ll take on one too?

The sugar daddy: I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it- because it would be something I was doing outside of our relationship that’s outside of the monogamy that I want to have. Oh and I DON’T want you having sex with anyone either!

Me: Ok- next up for you– What are your thoughts on the divorce of  all thees married celebrity couples. That scares me– if they can break up– what’s to keep our marriage together?

The Sugar Daddy: We’re committed to each other. Obviously there were problems in their marriage that no one knew about. Honey- we have mutual trust, commitment and respect-oh yeah and great sex- we’ll be fine!

So..what do you think- can an OPEN marriage be sustained long-term?



  1. I'd like to stay anonymous says

    Actually, your husband was spot on when he said ” Also they went into that relationship under those terms, knowing what it was– whereas, we entered our marriage with just the two of us.”

    I know several polyamorous people (they have relationships ouside the traditional 1-1 formation) and swingers (they have sex with others while both are present, though maybe not in tandem with the same persons), a couple in particular has just celebrated their 10 year anniversairy as married. They key is transparancy, and having good ways of talking through it all. Not just saying what’s on their mind, but accepting and handling what the other one says too.

    They are completely open with potential new partners, both towards their married partner and the potential new one. There are no secrets, and there is no harbored jealousy or anger. If it occurs then that is talked about and adressed. For those that are not monogamously driven, it would seem that if the rest of the relationship is healthy, then a lack of needs being met by the partner leads to negative emotions.

    It takes a very mature level headed handle on the difference between need and want, and an ability to stick to the agreements and talk things through to do those kinds of relationships in a healthy manner. All parties need to know what they’re going into from the start, and need to be able to change the limits if they change as people. Like any relationship really, only with more people to take into account.

    Also, a breach of limits and wants must be talked about, and what those are to begin with. Someone want to see a movie with their partner, but that partner takes another to the movies instead – full well knowing how there is a certain someone wanting to do that with them, that could be a breach. Involving new people without telling all parties involved, usually always a breach. Not staying safe when being intimate, even if it is with well known partners, that could very well be a breach.

  2. says

    i do not believe that an open marriage can sustain in the long run. there are just too many stressors to a relationship already and adding one or more person is just too complicated to sustain.

    i never quite understood the difference in relationships of polyamorous couples, what draws them into pursuing such a relationship and such.

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