There is an epidemic… it’s called pressure to get married and it can literally drive a princess to madness. Perhaps some of you watching Princesses Long Island think these women, or Chanel in particular, is making a mountain out of a molehill. That she is creating drama where they needn’t be. She is only 27 for Pete’s sake. She is still ripe for the picking, she is still young and she is still finding her way. But those people, who judge her for her dire frantic need to find a husband have not grown up in a community that puts a premium on marriage *for women* above ALL ELSE.
I remember being 23. IÂ was living in the city, just graduated college and was dating like a speed demon. As if my life depended on it- as if I might evaporate into thin air if I could not get a man to put a ring on it by the time I hit 25.Â So now, as I’m about to turn the big 40 this AUGUST I look back that girl- whose world felt so small- who was convinced her worth could only be measured and valued by wearing the tile of Mrs. and I wish I could hug her. I wish I could prevent her from going (or being DRAGGED) to so many unsavory singles events in which she saw the same group of men and women, all milling around drinking too much hoping this one night (or LONG ASSED SINGLES WEEKEND AWAY) would procure some magical romantic interlude which would lead to the ultimate end game result of meeting that ONE.
The funniest part of this quest– which I can now see as funny although back then felt like its outcome would either make or break my validation as a worthwhile human being- was that the my urgencyÂ to meet THE ONE was clouding my judgement about the men I was choosing. I was on such a mission to meet the one- the one who would pacify all the requirements on my checklist that I forgot the reason I was even doing it all.
So Chanel if I can offer youÂ a few words of advice from an OLD LADY who has been there and done that this is what I would say:
-THROW YOUR CHECKLIST OUT THE WINDOW. That guy you won’t look at because he’s blue collar instead of white collar- GIVE HIM A SECOND THIRD AND FOURTH LOOK!
-Yes your mother to death- but do what works for you. Your mother means well but doesn’t understand that her constant harping on a wedding date is simply making you feel desperate- and desperate girls do desperate things. YOU DON’T want to marry someone out of desperation. So just tell your mother whatever she wants to hear- but take care of you and your agenda.
– Hang out with Casey Cohen A LOT MORE because girlfriend has a GOOD HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS!!
So any advice you could impart to these twenty-somethings??