Iâ€™ll be the first one to come clean- after 13 years of marriage- swinging from the chandeliers, tie my wrists to the bed posts sex session is a rarity. I am lucky if my husband and I get to physically connect on a bi-monthly basis. And yes I feel guilty, anxious and slightly panicked over the state of my current-virtually sex-free relationship and I wonder, are my husband and I more like glorified roomies than husband and wife?
Of course I know I am not alone in my waning physical relationship- in fact Camille Grammar of Bravo Housewives of Beverly Hills infamy admitted that she and her now estranged husband Kelsey Grammar hadnâ€™t had sex for two years before they divorced. So whatâ€™s in the water with us married folk and why arenâ€˜t we getting it on more?
While I canâ€™t speak for Kelsey and Camille- personally I am deeply, madly and passionately in love with my husband. Of course feeling those things does not make getting down to the dirty deed any easier, especially when I have a six year old little boy who despite having a big boy bed, manages to sleep in between my husband and I on a nightly basis. And though I canâ€™t use the excuse of breastfeeding a small baby, as the reason Iâ€™m not spending more time under the covers with my man, I will say this; being a mom saddled with so many responsibilities and issues, does cut into my sex schedule. And for those of you moms with small kids, who think itâ€™s the diapers and bottles that are keeping you and your husband from getting your sex on let me say this; as your kids get older their demands and needs get far more complicated and cannot be wished away with a quick diaper change, a kiss on a boo-boo and some magic fairy dust.
I also know having that kind of physical reconnection, when it does happen for us and we can manage to make the effort and time- bonds us on so much more than a physical level. When youâ€™ve been with the same person for 13 years and shared every intimate detail of their world, sex is anything but perfunctory- itâ€™s akin to coming home and reigniting that flame that has kept you together. So I ask you dear readers… what can us married folk do to make sure weâ€™re doing it more than twice a month because clearly, at least in my case, I donâ€™t want to end up like Camille and Kelsey!