Am I the ONLY wife who HATES telling my husband what to do?

I didn’t meet my husband until he was at the ripe old age of 38. Up until that point he had “SOMEHOW” managed (without my incessant prodding, reminding and NAGGING) to secure a job, an apartment and get even get dressed every morning.  And yet after 13 years of marriage, this once COMPLETELY self-sufficient individual (did I mention he went through medical school, internship, residency and fellowship without a mere nudge from anyone) truly needs to wait for me to remind him what to do. AND… I HATE IT!

The guy who needs a Honey do list

I abhor being perceived (especially when in ear shot of my kids ) as the shrew- the bad cop- the one who is always barking out my Honey-do list and why the hell do I even need to draft up a honey do list in the first place? Clearly this guy was able to successfully navigate life pre marriage and kids, so why do I always need to be the voice in his ear reminding him of the stuff that needs to get done?

My thoughts…if I just let fly- NOTHING would happen, and I really mean absolutely nothing. The leak that is threatening to cave in our roof would do just that- the roof would cave in. But maybe that’s the best possible way to handle things so as not to appear shrewish in the eyes of onlookers aka my kids. Although we live in the same house and I suspect experience the same surroundings, for some strange reason, my husband rarely picks up on stuff that needs to be done. ( I  know… he’s a smart guy working a seamless clueless cover) Perhaps if I let said roof cave in- and teach my husband a lesson… next time he sees  a leak in the roof he might just- of his own volition-use his trusty index finger to CALL a roofer.  The only issue on my part I that I really don’t want to sit in a pool of water….

Are you  too the shrew to your husband’s innocent I’m just standing here I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing unless someone hands me a honey do list counterpart?


  1. says

    OHHHHH this is perfect… I have a similar scenario (I am the shrew without a doubt) but my beloved – though he needs said list, does not really like to receive it. Admittedly, I am a micro-manager, but only because my way is probably the best way for most of our day-to-day things. (Simply because I do them every day.)

    Sadly, it seems your best solution is to wait until you're sitting in a pool of water. I forgot to pay a phone bill some years ago and the husband was a little cross when he was unable to join an international work call because he couldn't dial out. (Whoops.) But suddenly the phone bill paying duties were passed to him…

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