7 ways you know you are officially 40 when…

Yes, it’s true I’ve only been 40 for a day- and yet I have already learned so much about what being a member of this decade truly entails.  For instance, when I was 39 I don’t think I was ever told by a 19 year old boy, “You know, you look just like my College English professor” and yet TODAY on this the first day of my  FORTIES that is exactly what happened to me. I guess there are worse things than resembling a College Professor- but as far as the vavavoom quotient on that one- I’d say it is fairly non-existent.

7 ways you know  you are officially  40 when...

You hear these women  *of a certain age* remark that they became invisible once they turned that age- the catcalls, subtle flirtations they are recipient of– it was almost like they no longer existed. And honestly THAT is FINE with me- I don’t need validation that I am a MILF on any level- although in just the smallest possible way- I am starting to feel like that presence which women command in society, that feminine power each of us wield–well mine is slowly evaporating.

Of course being a proud 40 year old woman certain characteristics and random things seemed to have manifested themselves over night- REALLY they have- and well they have prompted me to write this post because I NEED TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE who has experienced this next stage of life. Indulge me if you will.

#1 You know you are officially 40 when… you are watching the VMA’s and feel like you want to call the mothers of some of these celebrities and tell them, it’s going to be all right as opposed to thinking that dry humping a teddy bear is WAY COOL.

#2 You know you are officially 40 when…you are watching the #vma Preshow and you see Pepsi’s “live for now” commercial and the first thing that pops out of your mouth to your kids is.” That is not a good idea…you need to plan for your future”

#3 You know you are officially 40 when… that ONE glass of Moscato you had on your birthday night- is STILL giving you a headache.

#4 You know you are officially 40 when…no one asks you, ” so when are you going to have a baby?” rather.. “Are you still getting your period on a regular basis?”

#5 You know you are officially 40 when… you tell your kids they need to TURN THE VOLUME DOWN, because really the noise level on the TV set is just way too high for you.

#6 You know you are officially 40 when… the thought of going out to dinner past 7pm sounds like a CRAZY IDEA, and all you can think is- how will I digest my food that late at night?

#7 You know you are officially 40 when… that line you get when you are squinting on your forehead doesn’t just PLUMP back when you stop squinting.

So… got any fortyisms to share?!

Comments

  1. Angela Willamson says

    Yes I do, as a matter of fact. You know you’re 40 when you buy beer and the cashier just punches in a random birthdate for verification purposes and doesn’t even hesitate, let alone make eye contact with you. … even though there’s a huge sign saying anyone that looks under 40 will be carded. And hope about when you’re with your 5 and 6 year old daughters and someone asks “Oh are those your grandchildren?!!” Oh, and that squint line between my forehead? Yeah, that’s just THERE…. to stay. I don’t even have to squint to see that bad boy anymore. And I just “love” it when girls in their early 20’s refer to me as ma’am. Fun times, I tell ya.

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