I was watching a certain chat show today, during which one of the hosts said women over 40 have no business making out with their husband in public. But apparently women under 40 can make out with every Tom, Dick and Harry until their lips literally fall off. It got me thinking- GEE- I’ll be 40 in August- is that my expiration date? Is that the day I all of a sudden turn into a pumpkin and simply cease to be?Â Does the fact that I’m older make it uncomfortable for others to view me as a sexual and viable female? Well you know what I say- TOO FREAKING BAD!
I am not going to go into my 40th year on this planet marching in slow motion – no I want to wrap a hot pink feather boa around my neck, and go out in the middle of Times Square and have my husband pull me into a very uncomfortable for my kids to watch embrace.
I’ll be honest I’m scared to turn 40. I’m afraid it will signal the beginning of the end for me- as a visible and important voice– because our society so very much values the allure of youth- and at 40- I’m no longer valuable. But I have a daughter– which means I have a COMMITMENT to her to make turning 40 this fabulous adventure so that when she turns 40 one day- gd willing- that’s what she will remember- as opposed to a morose mom, reaching for a glass of Moscato D’asti and lamenting the trials of losing one’s youth.
So I am starting a LIFE LIST beginning with FIVE THINGS -as of August 25th- I’m going to begin to undertake as I enter my Fortieth year on this CRAZY and mostlyÂ joyful planet.
#1 Reminding myself that sometimes you gotta say, “WHAT THE F*CK?” and take a chance. Maybe I’ll fall flat on my face and maybe I will completely fail.Â But at least I can’t say I didn’t try.
#2 Accepting the fact that there are some relationships that can never be repaired- or be what I need them to be. I will begin to take what I can fromÂ relationships or cut my losses and move on. Easier said than done- but I imagine, extraordinarily freeing in so many ways. I think sometimes we believe we need to stay in relationships with certain people and are unable to be objective when they begin to feel toxic. As a 40 year-old woman- when something starts to feel toxic and irreparable – I AM MOVING ON.
#3 Owning my body, sexuality and image with confidence and a sense of calm and the notion that this is IT. This is what I’ve got- and I’m going to love it, take care of it- and be as happy as I can be in it- and hope it doesn’t betray me.
So- any advice for us women 40 and over?