It’s 3:30 am. I CANNOT SLEEP. I have a dog on my head, another tucked into the crook of my knees and somehow my seven year old is sandwiched in between my husband and I-Â even though we banished him from the bed at 1:30 am. I whisper my husband’s name ever so gently. The man does not stir. I tap him on the arm. Still no reaction. I get out of the bed and turn on the TV…and since we have poor man’s cable in our bedroom. aka whatever signals our rabbit ears and converter box picks up from the great wide yonder..at 3:30 am it’s slim pickings; either a Spanish game show or infommercials for grinding down my callouses and getting rid of unwanted
Short of throwing a pitcher of ice-cold water over his head and shaking him like a leaf–I used the time at 3:30 in the morning to compile a list of 7 things my fantasy husband would do for me ( granted it was 3:30 in the morning and so I just reached for the moon…because it was dark and I was high on infommercials)
1.Â Pick or buy me some flowers.
Flowers always cheer up any situation and sweet smelling flowers placed right next to my bed will help my dreams become even sweeter.Yes husband- and remember- you WANT me to have sweet dreams- right?!
2. Foot rubs.
Give me, your baby mama, a foot rub with some exotic, sweet-smelling oils.Â Because I am probably on my feet working a lot and exhausted and a foot rub does wonders to lift a womanâ€™s spirit. ( And couldn’t we ALL use a lil spirit lifting?!)
3.Â Make dinner AND clean up afterwards.
That’s right; prepare my favorite meal from beginning to end by going shopping, cooking and cleaning up.Â Make it special by playing my favorite music, lighting some candles and serving me.Â I will love being waited on, will appreciate you preparing the foods I am craving and there’s a GOOD chance you’ll get lucky later on.
4.Â Let me sleep in.
Being a mother/ wife/ woman in general can be physically exhausting.Â Give your baby mama the morning off while you take care of chores or whatever else needs to be done so I can catch up on some much needed rest.( And that means not letting the kids first jump on my head as I lie under the covers).
5.Surprise me with a weekend getaway.
It doesnâ€™t have to be anything fancy, although that roadside motel that looks like it may be the local JOHN hangout is definitely out of the question- but pick somewhere we can go together so we can spend some quality time in a stress-free environment with each other (and lots of alcohol).
7.Â Be creative.
If you dare; sing me a love song.Â If you can; write me a love poem.Â And of course don’t forget to tell me how incredibly hot I am- in your song or love letter to me.
So what would your fantasy husband do for you?!