I’ve been married 14 years– not that it makes me an expert in anything other than hanging on TIGHT, drowning out the things that could drive a person to hit the bottle and swallowing my words or more aptly remembering to choose the words I allow to come out of my mouth VERY.VERY.Carefully.
And 14 years later I’m still here- still married- and still for the most part very much in love, but also so much wiser about what it takes to sustain long-term love and happiness. So with all that being said and because I’m a list junkie I’ve come up with my FIVE SECRETS TO A ROCK SOLID MARRIAGE.
#1 You will have to do stuff you don’t want to do. I know my husband would rather stick pins in his eyes than do a lot of the Favors I ask of him. But-as I always say to him- THAT IS MARRIAGE; doing SH*T you don’t want to do to make the other person happy.
#2 You need to be able to handle honesty. If you can’t handle the truth- DON’T ask the question- because men don’t know how to answer with a little white lie. Case in point; if I ask my husband how I look in those new white jeans I bought- HE WILL TELL ME THE TRUTH ( whether I like it or not). So I have learned to ONLY ask him questions -whose answers-I know I can handle without wanting to smack him upside his head.
#3 If you have kids- REMEMBER to be a united front when dealing with them- because those kids will WORK every angle to get the answer they want-and pit the two of you against each other. Yes your offspring can be rotten and devious- so HANG ONTO each other.
#4 If you say you are NOT going to give each other presents- SHAKE ON IT and DON’T Undermine that pact BY ANY MEANS. Of course this is VERY easy for me- since my husband NEVER wants anything and anything I really want I have NO problem getting for myself.
#5 Stop asking your husband to watch chick flicks with you or any reality shows. IT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Do yourself a favor and get yourself a Gay husband. And EVERYONE will be much happier!
Now these five secrets might not work for you- or even apply to your relationship- especially if you are REALLY BIG on getting gifts and you’d rather skip the honesty and hear the little white lies. But my feeling is- to sustain REALLY long term love- you have to be willing to accept the things you can’t change and make the choice EVERY DAY to look at this person and say- you might not be exactly who I want you to be but you come REALLY CLOSE and that is ENOUGH!