After 18 years of marriage I am past the point of needing highly stylized dates at four star restaurants and baubles the size of small countries. Of course that is not to say that I don’t love good food and jewelry- rather it is that my husband needn’t make reservations at a five star white-gloved Sushi eatery to keep me content.
After all this time waking up and seeing the very same hands give me a cup of java in the morning ( knowing that mine are too clumsy and tired to manage a pot at 6:30 am ) it is small acts of love and kindness like that, that keep me trucking along in this marriage. The simple act of my husband making me that first cup of coffee in the morning- with extra cream and sugar- well to me it speaks volumes about this man and how being married to him has informed my definition of what a wife truly needs from a husband.
Of course after recently watching an old The Bachelorette Finale I also was SLIGHTLY incensed that after 18 years of marriage unlike one of The Bachelorette’s suitors I HAVE NEVER been the recipient of a MEMORY JAR ( aka a jar filled with mementos of our relationship highs etc.). So while I WAIT for my memory jar to be conceived here are three things Things This Wife Wants her Husband To Do.
#1 Someone who will watch independent films with you even though they don’t really care for them.
For 18 years my husband has sat through several hundred independent films with me, and has only fallen asleep through about ten of them. To his credit- the subtitles can sometimes put one to sleep especially when that person REFUSES to wear one of the ten pairs of eyeglasses he has bought but says he doesn’t need. And after watching said films he will listen to me pontificate about the plots and the protagonist and allow me to exercise that film degree I got in college.
#2 Tell her he is proud of her.
Okay maybe this is bordering on some kind of oedipal conflict I am forever trying to work out based on the relationship I had with my own father- but there is nothing a wife likes to hear more than her husband, her partner, tell her that the work she does has value. That she has meaning, that her life and the work she does when it comes to her profession and her kids makes him feel proud of her and proud to be married to her. Husbands- COMPLIMENTS that comes from a really honest and organic place will make your wives SWOON.
#3 Make sure she takes her vitamin D Pill.
Every morning like clock work my husband makes me take a Vitamin D pill, because he always reminds me, “petite white women are more prone to osteoporosis than any other group,” and I guess he wants to make sure this wife doesn’t get brittle bones. But more than anything it demonstrates for me that he cares about my health.
So… what do you want your husband to do; how does he demonstrate his love for you?